Fetish Counseling by Goddess Bella Donna

Financial Domination is one of those fetishes which is often misunderstood and sadly can leave a really bad taste in someones mouth if they encounter a situation as the following cashpet finds himself in. I have received this request for advice today and thought it important to share here, since this is more frequent than many can imagine. I have of course edited the gentleman’s name out to give him privacy and to assure that he will not have any further problems with the Mistress in question. I hope my response and advice I gave to him will help others who find them-selves in the same situation.

dear goddesssbelladonna.
> > i am in a situation with a finanical domme, where i pay her regular payments each week and also extras for whatever she asks of me, ie photos, videos, or if she wants to go shopping etc. nothing was signed, but i did agree in an email that i would pay her this money, and that if i wanted to end out agreement i would pay her on thousand pounds, although she did say she might make it more if she wishes to.
> > the agreement was to pay her most of my weekly wage, which i have been doing, but i have since become ill, and am in and out of hospital at the moment. i am also now not working because of my health. she knows this, but insists that i still pay her. she has lowered it slightly, but i am basically still paying a lot of money each week out of my savings. not only am i running out of money, it is also affecting my health due to the worry. i want to end the relationship but im afraid she might get nasty. she has already threatened to post naked photos of me to people in my street etc to teach me a lesson, also to post videos that she made me do online for everyone to see, ie blackmail unless i do what she wants.
> > is it best if i simply pay her off and hope she accepts the one thousand pounds? i cant really afford it, as it will clear out all my savings, but if i leave it any longer it might get worse as im still paying her a weekly wage when im not earning. i do have photos and videos of her, but i dont want to threaten her with exposing theses (i would never do that) because instead of backing off i think she may get nasty. its such a mess and im so stressed out by it all. if i was well and could work then it would be fine, but i feel that although ive explained about my ill health she still demands that i pay her using my savings.
> > sorry for taking up so much of your time. i really hope you can give me some advice as its destroying my life when i should be concentrating on getting better. mr pXXXXXX

As you can see he finds himself in a very bad situation and has continued to try to serve her as best he can for as long as he was able to. Now the situation however has escalated to a point where he is no longer able to continue. The following was my response to this sad little cash pet.

Dear PXXXXX

Here is the way I am seeing it. You did send her the email agreeing to this which means you in a way gave her something akeen to a contract. Your written agreement does constitute this. That said your circumstances have drastically changed from the way I am understanding this and unless you have at any time agreed to consensual blackmail (even during an email exchange or a messenger exchange) in case of your inability or willingness to obey her demands she is within danger of conducting a highly illegal activity – real blackmail by threatening to post nude photos of you. 

Personally I find her conduct highly unethical if you have made your situation perfectly clear to her and have send her proof of your situation and I would advise you to make it very clear to her that you are no longer able and willing to continue being her paypet until you are once again healthy and working so you have a reliable income. Keep it polite of course, you did enjoy serving her I am assuming and she did give you the attention you wished for. So no reason to become nasty on your part either. If you have not shown her legit documentation of your job loss or health problems, she may think that you are just like hundreds of others who are using an excuse to get out of something they were not prepared to follow through. IN that case I would suggest you do show her the documents you should have handy.

 If like I said you DID NOT agree in any way or shape to consensual blackmail with her, I would make it very clear in this message to her that you consider her threats of exposure should you try to leave her service to be extremely distasteful and will seek legal actions against her if she follows through with those threats. This hopefully will give her some pause at least. 
 
Now since you did agree to the buy out I am sad to inform you that you will need to follow through on this promise. Just as you wouldn’t want her to be unethical in her behavior neither should you be. Think about it this way so. Whatever the amount may be she has reduced it to (which she didn’t have to by the way), it will end up being a lot cheaper than if you continue to have to pay out regular fees plus extras.

 I wish you a speedy recovery and hope that you will be more careful in the future. 

 Happy holidays to you and yours.

Goddess Bella Donna

At this point I would like to go a little further to assure that you understand completely what you are facing in these sort of situations.

#1 If you at any time during your conversations either via phone, email exchanges, messenger chats etc mentioned or brought up that you are interested in consensual blackmail and that this is one of your fantasies, a Mistress can very easily misunderstand this as one of those situations in which you would like to have the element of consensual blackmail introduced into your relationship. This however does not mean that she should continue once you make it very clear to her that this not the case and ask her to let you out of your agreement or contract.

#2 Do not confuse punishment which may make you fear as in using your real first name which really does not give any information about who you are since first names are thousand times the same for different people and blackmail tactics in which she threatens to post explicit full body shots which could identify you easily should the wrong person happen on them. Where the first one will hold no consequences at all since who would know she is speaking about you instead about someone else with the same first name, the second is a guaranteed way of identifying you and hence is extremely dangerous to you. This is not something that should ever be done outside of a contract and with previous agreement on both sides. By this I mean a written and signed consensual blackmail contract. Anything outside of such a contract is now an act of illegal means meaning actual blackmail as laid out by the law and can be prosecuted to the fullest extent of said laws.

#3 As a financial slave you need to be aware that anytime you hold any written conversations with your Mistress and give her an agreement to pay a “dismissal charge” or “buy out” payment, you are holden to this agreement. Regardless if you have signed a contract or not, a written agreement is just as binding. If for no other reason than to be honorable you must follow through with the agreement you have given in order to break your service with her. If you fail to do so you can expect retribution from her which should not include blackmail, but can easily ruin any chances for any further service with anyone else once you decide you want to serve someone again in the future. Remember that we Mistresses do speak to one another and hearing that a submissive has just skipped on an agreement will close the doors of any reputable Lady to you.

#4 Do not drag service out when you really can no longer afford to do so. In the case of this poor cash pet he lost his job and was in and out of the hospital. Both are things which are legit reasons to discontinue your service since you now longer can provide even for yourself in a reliable fashion. Of course you should provide proof to your Mistress of this as in documentation showing her that this is in deed a real situation and not just some excuse you made up. You must understand that just as there are bad apples among Mistresses there are just as many bad apples among guys, most of the time even more so. It is a lot better to pay your “buy out” and get back on your feet and healthy and than asking if you may return to service after you are all set up again. If you have done it the honorable way you are pretty much assured she will take you back at a later point.

#5 Trust is one of the biggest corner stones in any D/s relationship. It doesn’t matter if is is fetish based, BDSM based, real time or online. When trust is broken it can never be fully restored. In the case of this cash pet I would strongly advice him against returning to this Lady when he can since he has already found out that she is not to be trusted in the long run. That of course is assuming he gave me all honest details and did not try to paint her in a bad light.

I hope this has helped you out a little bit and I would urge you to think before jumping in and out of any D/s relationship without researching the person you are planning on forming such long standing relationships with. No matter which side of the fetish you are on, honor and honesty are always the two most important factors and you can not afford to be any other way.

Goddess Bella Donna